11.12.19

Self-Interview

jana1: nice to see you. how is it going?

jana2: hm. not sure. I struggle.

jana1: with what?

jana2: I struggle because I feel I m in-between. I mean: I used to choreograph large group works. I was into MAKING. not I don’t do this anymore. but also I am not really an expert in a particular branch of philosophy or so.

jana1: is that often the dilemma when doing artistic research?

jana2: ja – identity disappears. but without that it is very challenging to do stuff. Artistic research is in my case a bit expanded expansion.

jana1: which is also the title of a work by Eva Hesse.

jana2: right.

jana1: what has this to do with breath and the residency?

jana2: well the residency is a residency in artistic research, not a residency where it is about mere making.

jana1: right.

jana2: and breath? well…..I wanna change subject here.

jana1: ok.

jana2: I keep reading about climate change and I had also conversation with Lisa about it. Lisa said that it is a matter of policy makers to figure climate change out. rather than me as individual turning vegan and not driving a car anymore. I am simplifying what she said. It was interesting to hear that from Lisa because I think far more about my individual responsibilities to contribute to saving the world kind of.

In Helsinki climate change and non-human agents in performance is THE TOPIC in the arts. I feel this is quite different in Freiburg. But that s not the topic now.

The topic is that reading about climate change – mainly newspaper articles – it feels strange to work on breath. I mean: Heidi´s sister who is a circus artist clearly says „no“ to having kids because she is a climate activist.

And working about breath brings me to think about climate change, cause for sure there is of CO2 emission even that I know that this CO2 is part of the natural cycle. I mean: I dont add really any CO2 to the atmosphere.

but still, somehow ecology and climate comes to my mind when working on breath. maybe that is because breathing is such existential thing, such existential practice. and these days I really wonder whether the kids of the kids of my kids will really be able to live on this planet.

but maybe these questions also come up simply because I can t make just choreography anymore.

this sounds really drastic.

jana1: ja. it does. are you sure of what you re saying?

jana2: well, I think I could make something maybe with others together, in some sort of equal terms, but this idea of single authorship in the arts is nothing that turns me on anymore.

jana1: ok.

I still wonder where you are at with breathing?

jana2: Yesterday I was thinking about breath in relation to the energetic.

But before I try to think with you about this:

I think the question of dissolution of identity as artist these are core questions of artistic research.

artistic research does not make you a better artist, but it can, like in my case, expand the practice to a degree that you really sort to wonder about what you re doing and with which effects. And that is regardless of theory.

jana1: ok.

jana2: but about the energetic and breath.

I looked into this recent publication of Sabine Huschka and Barbara Gronau. Energy and Forces as Aesthetic Interventions. It s published with transcript.

Breath is part of a discourse about energy. Barbara Gronau writes there in her essay How to talk about energy? about „energy as a circulating «in-between« force, i.e. as a medial and transgressive process the establishes connections between subjects, objects, bodies, thoughts and distant space.“ (page 26). I makes me think how Petri Berndtson (PhD, dissertation title: Primacy of Breathing) talked to me on a walk in Helsinki how we are all connected through breath. This is normally a rather female attitude towards the so-called Other: Men most often dont go for integration and connecting. Heidi said that Merleau-Ponty talks in a similar vain about breath than what Petri is interested in. Petri´s PhD is also largely including Merleau-Ponty s considerations on breath.

The thing is that when thinking about breath, I struggle with this idea that breath creates connections.

jana1: really?

jana2: actually , I m not sure.

hm. I need to think a bit more.

jana1: ja. should we speak further after your lunch break?

jana2: ja. see you.

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